Happy Birthday, Yati!

Tuesday 04/24, 9 am:

Bzzzzzzzz
(Must be message from Nils)

"It's Yati's birthday today, go give her a call"
(Wow! How on earth did he remember that?? Man, this guy really is a catch..)

"How on earth did you remember that??!"

"It just popped up on the calendar on your old phone. Hee hee hee"
(Right. That's more like it... What was I thinking?)


Happy birthday my dear Yati! Hope you had tons of fun!!

Almost Monday

It's frightening when you find yourself in a familiar pattern - especially when you come to realize that the sequence of events didn't end up too well the past few times they happened. Even more scary when you don't know what it is that triggers this. What causes it? When did it start? How did it start? Knowing that the root cause lies within me at least stops me from going around pointing fingers. I am a firm believer that if something happens to you over and over again, there is something you do that encourages that pattern. But knowing I had a hand in this doesn't make me feel better.

A completely unrelated question: how do I get from here to business development? Argh! Crap lah. Work is good and bad at the same time, I don't know what to say about it.

*Pity Party Alert!*

What do you do when you suddenly find yourself feeling super down? It's like being hit by a truck. All of a sudden it seems the whole world hates me and talks about me behind my back. I wish I were mad about it, but I'm just sad.

I dream of having someone I can pour my heart out to. It has been a while since I've had a friend like that. And from the looks of things, it will be a while more. I don't know what's wrong. Can someone please fix it?

Whip out the violin and start playing now, will you?

Mengomel

Heh, aku penatlah.

Aik, takkan baru hari kedua dah mengeluh?

Bukan mengeluh, cuma mengadu nasib aje. Nak dengar ke tak nak?
Kalau pikir pasal kerja and sekolah, takla stress sangat. Boleh ride the adrenaline high to get through. And at least yang tu aku boleh gak kerja bersungguh sungguh and keep me busy. Tapi part lain lain tu entahle, kat tu jugakle. Gaduh ikut sms pun jadik. Gaduh punya gaduh pun, kat situ jugak. Cam round round in a circle. Kalau ada ekor boleh jugak kejar.

Hai sabarle...

Ha iyelah. Apa lagi pun yang nak dibuatkan? 1 tahun 10 bulan je lagi kak... Sabar ajelah.

Pleasant surprise

I got a nice surprise on Thursday at work. I've known for a few weeks now that I will be assigned to a new project full time. It's good and not-so-good, the good is that I get to work full time with the consultants, implementing our new shop floor systems, and not-so-good is that I don't get to lead our contract manufacturing tech transfer, something I've wanted to do for a long time.

But I think my preference has changed over the years, because now I very much prefer the consulting project experience to the tech transfer, since it gives a lot of visibility (good potential for kaki bodek like me), and it gives a lot of interface with other departments. Besides, I will still lead the on-going tech transfer to our client's site, so I will get some exposure in that. So I'm not crying over the transfer. And I certainly am not crying about the promotion. It is a nice surprise.

Now on to a grueling 12 months to establish my footing. As a good friend of mine put it "Now you're part of the hated management". Yes, I need to make the most of it, and prove myself all over again.

No hummingbird today

Nils's balcony

Gots to study...

It looks deceivingly warm outside from where I sit, with the sunlight pouring into the living room through Nils's curtainless balcony door. But of course, from where I sit I can't see the floor of the balcony which is covered in snow. It was in the 20s yesterday, and I was surprised that it wasn't as miserable as I thought it would be. For some reason my memories of winter in Indiana was much worse than this.

Nils is out at Home Depot with Craig, buying a couple more things for the house. I stayed home to study and do my homework. Well I tried, but my latest burr of getting a coat is very distracting. At least I finished reading the case. And also found one coat I like on Bloomie's website. That was Nils's idea anyway, for me to browse online so we have an idea what to expect when we go shopping tomorrow.

Ah wait, I hear them at the door. I better get back to studying.

:)

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

NST Online
Easing polygamy rules to curb social problems
09 Feb 2007


KANGAR: It’s now easier for Muslims outside Perlis to marry a second, third, or fourth wife in the state.

They no longer have to change their address on their identity cards.

State Housing, Local Government and Environment exco Azihani Ali said the move was to curb social ills such as abandoned babies and the spread of HIV.

"All they have to do is to solemnise and register their union like any first-time marriage," she said.

She said the move would also lead to a "healthy" increase in population.

Azihani said the decision was made during the weekly exco meeting chaired by Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Shahidan Kassim.

Earlier, Muslim men risked a fine of RM2,000 if they married again in the state without changing their address.

Other states have strict regulations governing polygamy which require the permission of the first wife and change of address in the IC.

On imam, she said the state government was upgrading 50 of them to become "kadi" so that they could solemnise marriages.

"But the relaxed conditions do not mean we are blindly encouraging Muslim men to take second, third or fourth wives. They must adhere to Islamic law and ensure their spouses are given their due rights.

"For instance the first and second wives have a right to their family’s shared earnings."

Meanwhile, Shahidan said Perlis will continue with raids on khalwat (close proximity) but without resorting to spying or any other embarrassing methods.

He said the state government was strictly against prying into people’s privacy and embarrassing those caught for allegedly committing khalwat during raids.

Instead, he said the state government wanted religious authorities to focus on offenders who openly committed wrongful acts.

"We want to stop offenders who openly commit acts of sin as they are challenging the faith. We don’t want to pry into what goes behind hotel bedroom doors.

"Knocking on closed doors is not the answer to curbing unlawful behaviour. We must catch those who commit unlawful acts openly," he said.

Shahidan is also mulling the idea of amending the state religious law on enforcement methods to ensure the dignity of those caught and questioned for khalwat offences, based on the principle of "innocent until proven guilty".

The Perlis Menteri Besar is also in agreement with state mufti Dr Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin who had stressed that snooping and embarrassing suspects was against the teachings of Islam, and would project the religion in a bad light.

Shahidan said authorities had a responsibility to focus on the big picture of upholding morals values.

"We must act against all immoral acts and not be selective such as focusing on a single offence. We must prevent immoral acts in a fair manner and not embarrass people while doing it," he added.

He also said khalwat raids must not be conducted with malice in mind.

Shahidan said this after the "Seminar Tangkap Basah Peringkat Negeri Perlis", a seminar to address khalwat raids, at Dewan 2020 here yesterday.

Apo nak di kato

Girl: So, how long have you been here?

Me: Six years next week.

Girl: Wow! You've been here that long and you're so happy. This must be a good place to work.

Me: *Tergamam. I didn't mean to lie, she was the one jumping to conclusion.*

Agak Country bunyiknya. Tapi...

how did she know?


The Wreckers: Leave the Pieces


ps: I'm even happier today... muahahahahaha.. Yippekayay!

:)

I'm happy today

:)

Tee hee hee...

Apasal muncung tu?

Hehehe.. I found this picture when I was cleaning up my hard drive. This was during our trip to KL. See, Nils and I have pictures of each other with various facial expressions. So when we think the other is sulking, mad, or whatever, we'd send the appropriate picture to each other. Cheap thrills, and sometimes it does cheer me up. Anyway, I don't have a picture of him sulking so this is a precious addition to my cell phone. Last weekend in Vegas he got one of me which is nearly as good. It was my "fuck off" face. I don't remember why I was so mad, and beats me how he managed to snap a picture right in the middle of it.

And oh, last Friday I heard from an old friend. I haven't talked to him in ages, although we've exchanged emails a couple of times in the last few years. Good to hear you're doing well, Joe! And it was absolutely wonderful to catch up. Do come and visit me when you and Lisa are settled in HK ok my dear?

Happy New Year!

2006 was a good year for me - quite possibly the best year of my life so far. Recently I have this whim that my 30s will be the best years of my life. Now I have something to look forward to. And one year to prepare for it. I accidentally vowed that my life will begin in 2 years - after I graduate and move on from current job and city. It's not really a vow, because it wasn't exactly deliberate. It felt almost like finally seeing that fact, and I'm praying that I will live to see that day. It's a dangerous business, postponing your life. But I think if I enjoy the time between now and then, then it wouldn't be that bad.

Long distance relationships are not my favorite, usually because it means I'm by myself, sometimes lonely, all the time missing the other person. But these days, the thing I hate most is not being able to help Nils when he needs a hand. He's painting and unpacking all by himself. No one is helping him around the house. He had to take the ornaments off the tree, take the tree out, sweep the needles, etc.. This sucks.

Pop quiz

Q: How do you know your girlfriends are your good friends?

A: When I am full of self-doubt and so unsure of myself, they send messages to ensure me otherwise. SMS-es, messages, and emails with kind words about me. Things I already know, but feel good to hear all the same.


Q: And how else would you know?

A: When you tell one of them that a goose of a certain color is calling you, she tells you she would go for it and deal with tomorrow when it comes. Not judging you of anything.


How lucky am I to have this many good friends... I miss you guys... mmuuaahhhs!

Long weekend...

Hello there.. It has been a while since I was last here. My first semester is officially over, and I even have the grades for all my classes. I did pretty well, Alhamdulillah. Thank you to Iddy for helping me with crazy accounting concepts. I have to start a buku tiga lima with Iddy, I owe her so much now.

In the next four days I will be lazing around, recuperating from the hectic year 2006. I am armed with many Katharine Hepburn + other classic movies, and have already seen The Philadelphia Story 3 times (it is officially my favorite movie now). Other than a short trip to Berkeley tomorrow for some paperwork, I do not plan to go anywhere (or even leave the city) this weekend.

This will be my last slow weekend of the year. Next week I am flying out to New Jersey to see Nils. Oddly enough, I have recently come to realize, feel, and appreciate how nice Nils is treating me. One Sunday morning he called me at 8 am, and I was cursing and swearing as I was picking up the phone. But before I could say anything, I heard Nils being all excited "Baby, I'm at Coach, do you want something from here? Do you want a laptop bag?" I didn't know what to say. I don't usually go gaga at Coach stuff, but for some reason his gesture really moved me.

Here is this guy, 3000 miles away from me, busy in the middle of painting his place, moving into a messy house (with slanted living room floor and all), busy shopping for his family and friend's X'mas gifts, had already bought me several gifts in the last month, and yet still had it in him to call and ask if I wanted something from a store he was at. I have to say, that was the nicest, awesomest thing a guy has ever asked me. Sometimes I feel that Nils has it in his head that it is part of his responsibility to make sure I am happy. And for that I am very grateful. Maybe even though he doesn't say the things I wish he would say, the way I wish he would say them, he still loves me a whole lot. And tonight when he called and told me he was too tired to drive home to Pete's and will sleep at the new place instead, I wished I were there to unpack the sheets and make the bed for him. Me, wishing I could make the bed for a guy- that is so unkokanglike conduct. What is happening to me?

ps: I wonder if I will be getting anything from Ken's jewelry store this year... (dalam terharu tetap tamak)

Leisure activities

I've taken to a new hobby nowadays - watching old classic movies. I love the simplicity of the scenes, subtle emotional cues, and especially how the movies don't try so hard to be realistic. And I love the characters' mannerism - so very polite. So far, my favorite is Woman of the Year and Desk Set. So cute to watch Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy falling in love. One such a cold career woman and the other a softie. Sometimes it tickles me how clean these old movies are. The darkened room scenes, silhouette of a kiss, etc. And it confuses me when they talk about money. How much was $20,000 worth back then? My other favorites are Walk, Don't Run (Cary Grant reminded me of Sean Connery in this one), It Happened One Night, and Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. There are many more that I like actually, tapi takde kerja lah tu nak list them all here.

Tuesday is marketing final, and Thursday is accounting. After that, I'm freeeeeee - for three weeks. We were going to have a birthday party this weekend since CC's birthday is on the same day as mine. But after they all flaked out on last night's plan, I don't know if I'd count on it. It's times like that that I miss Nils the most. At least I know he wouldn't ditch me.

Welcome, winter

It was nice to have a couple of days away from the office. Thanksgiving dinner at the mountain house was nice. Nothing out of the ordinary, just sitting and yapping. Weather was quite whacky, it was in the 60s in DC and New Jersey, and it's in the 40s here in SF Bay Area. Brrr... I now sleep with the windows closed. Winter is officially here.

Two more weeks before wrapping up the first semester. My extra project at work started yesterday, and I'm thinking of offering my soon-to-be free time to devote to the project so I can get more experience. Work nowadays have turned into mini ventures of trying to get into areas I might want to be in after business school (and green card).

Nils and I had a serious talk about things while I was out there for a visit. We've kind of switched gears from asking "Should we..." to "How do we...". Perhaps in trying to answer this question we will discover whether we can find a way to do it, and whether we have the stomach for what might lie ahead. Life choices beckon.

I did one thing right

Hah, the best thing I did recently was to quit gym. :) I've left that whole world behind me. Gym membership and exercise machine ads no longer draw a reaction from me. I hardly notice them anymore. I have built an antibody against that world and things associated with it. Today I realized I don't even think about exercising anymore. It's a relief, I tell you. I don't have thoughts like "I'm supposed to go to the gym today", or "Oh no, I haven't been to the gym in four weeks". I'm freeeeeeeee! When people ask me, I proudly tell them "I quit."

Now, if only I can answer the same when they ask about these other things.

Today's random thoughts:

• When something happens that doesn't sit well with you, does it eventually settle down as time goes by, or do you have to put in an effort to do something about it?

• Today, even the thought of accommodating other people wears me out. I'm all hostessed out.

• At work, why have I been in a hostile mood for the past few months? Why don't I feel like stopping from being a bitch?

• I feel so tired all day, think about taking a nap all the way driving home from work, and yet, when I get home I stay up all night and wake up early the next day.

• Why? Why? Why? Why this and why that? And where? Where are can I find the answers?

• I wonder if MC already updated her blog or put up new pictures yet...

• Ah, Iddy masih tidur. Kalau tak, boleh kacau dia.

• Pity party.

Finally, we get our grades

Grades for first quarter classes are out. Remember those people we sneered and jeered at back in our old college days? Those who whine about not getting that A they've so rightly earned? I've become one of them. Quite unfortunate, but I don't really care. I was pissed when I got my microecon grade - that was a few weeks ago, so I've calmed down significantly by now. Well, tonight we got our OB grades. And although it's not as good as I wanted it to be, I'm relieved it is not worse. I'm a little bummed at both my grades and am really trying to do better this quarter. How did S get As in both classes?? Bastard.... Well, I already told him how I feel about that, so don't worry, I haven't quite grown a malicious bone. Not added new ones, at least.

I thoroughly enjoy my classes and learning all the stuff, so if nothing else, I'd have enjoyed the whole journey by the end of this program. So here's to trying harder and maybe getting what you aim for. Cheers!