Almost home

One last stop, and my 30-day whirlwind of a trip will be over. And I can then proudly cross out another item off of my list of things-to-do-before-I-die.

It has been an enriching trip, beyond what I hoped for - seeing 3 STF friends (and one more tomorrow!), eating Iddy's cooking, hanging out and getting to know Aza, learning the meaning of majestic (The Alps) and out-of-this-world (Berthillon and Amorino ice creams), being in awe of ancient civilizations, buildings and paintings (how did it even occur to them to create these things?), using laundromat with German instructions, and realizing how much I like to eat rice (!). All I hoped for when I left home almost a month ago, was a couple of pictures decent enough to make some postcards and fill an album. Thanks Nils, for giving me your "blessing", letting me go on this trip, and not even once complaining that I get to go to all these places while you have to go to work to keep the household in the black (I love u!).

Now, on to my last adventure. Faiez, see you in the morning!! Amsterdam, here I come!

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Sent from my mobile device

Recharge

Every morning when I was in Rome, I stopped at the same cafe to get my breakfast of chocolate croissant and bottled water. By the second day, the guy had already knew me at sight and greeted me as I walk in ("Ciao! Chocolat?") and whenever our eyes meet as I walk to and from the train station during the day.

This morning, armed with my usual breakfast, I headed to the Termini, lugging my backpack (on its wheels). A quick stop at the ticket machine, bancomat, and a quiet corner to stuff the cash in my bra, and I was on my way.

The train ride to La Spezia is quite scenic. Passing through Civita,I got a glimpse of what may be in store when I get to Cinque Terre. The coastal view was breathtaking, laced with houses perched on steep, rocky cliffs, facing the green ocean. I was suddenly excited at the prospect of hiking alongside a similarly spectacular view (this, from a person who detests walking of any sort). The next 2 days will be awesome!

Thus far, I've been happy with my itinerary. After hectic sightseeing in London and Paris, I got to recharge and enjoy quiet walks in the Alps. I remember telling Idlan that I finally understood the meaning of majestic, for the Alps was truly that - simply majestic. My only recollection of prior talks of the Alps was from my high school geography classes - banjaran Rocky dan Alps. It was really something to see the humbling mountains in person, instead of just on brown and green topographical maps.

Now, after the hustle and bustle of Florence and Rome, I will get to wind down in the (hopefully) serene Italian Riviera before continuing my journey. Twelve more days, and I will be back in my bed (ini kes homesick).

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Sent from my mobile device

I am in London...

... wishing I have my tripod with me

Ready for take off

One cancelled flight, two flight changes, a gate change, and a plate of rice after Nils sent me off, I am finally settled down at my gate. Out the window, the plane that will take me to Heathrow has just pulled in. That is a giant improvement over how things have been. Oddly, the only time thing that frazzled me so far, was when I couldn't find the restaurant that Nils told me to eat at (oxtail soup, yumm). Villagers.

Nils said it's right after the security check, near the high number gates. I looked around, and when I couldn't find it, I walked over to the next security checkpoint. It was for gates 110+ which seemed like high numbers. I ventured in. No Villagers.

So I walked even further to the next checkpoint. "For gates 90 - ..." - 90 seemed like a high number to me. But still no Villagers. Thank goodness there is no other checkpoint in this terminal, or I would have continued on.

Frustrated, tired, sweaty, I huffed and puffed back to my gate and ate at a Chinese place. After I got my food, I texted Nils:

"Walked all over and didn't find Villagers!"

"What's a village?" came the reply.

"Place u told me to eat!"

"Gallaghers. Sorry phone autotext is stupid"

And from where I was sitting, I could see, in red neon lights "G a l l a g h e r s" *sigh*

Still in my backyard, but the adventures have begun.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Nak pegi merantau

Now that I'm pretty much done with reservation stuff for my trip, I have time to chill and enjoy my free days. I cant' believe it's barely 2 weeks since I've been unemployed. Time goes by so slowly, and not in a bad way either. At first I was bumming about being laid off (which lasted for about a day), but after deciding that it's nothing personal (they laid me off not because I suck!), things look a lot better.

Within about a week, I decided to go backpacking through Europe for a month. I know this is probably the only chance I have to do this, if I were going to have a family in the next few years. So Europe it is, and I'm leaving 8 days from today. Deciding on a reasonable itinerary was extremely hard, but thank God for Google Earth, and once I mapped everything down on a calendar, it became quite obvious what I will and will not have time for. Thank you also to Tourist #2 for being bersabar, listening to me talking about nothing but my trip, and keeping me company online on my sleepless nights trying to decide on places to see.

It's funny that I will see Iddy again after seeing her not nine months ago, thinking I might not get a chance to go back anytime soon. This trip is going to be very much on a tight budget because (a) Nils is not coming along, so I'm limited to whatever I've saved of my allowance, and (b) My income stream will soon be limited to unemployment checks, so I have to conserve appropriately. But I will make the most of it and will have tons of fun!! I can't wait to see Iddy, Aza, and Faiez!! I sure hope Aza's french is better than mine. And Faiez, you better stock up your pantry for your show-and-tell cooking nanti! Nanti kau buatla desserts bubur ca-ca ke, sago gula melaka ke, ok? By the time aku sampai Amsterdam tu nanti dah kurus sket kot sebab angkut beg sana sini.

So now that rooms and transportation is all set, I'm moving on to reading about the sights and learning a couple of French, Italian, and German phrases.

Ciao!

Drama-less

My life is devoid of drama. And mostly by design. But maybe drama is what gives life meaning. And maybe even I need some of it. That might explain why I'm starting to watch TV shows for their drama. Following underlying twisted plots of relationships and random happenings in people's (unreal) lives gives me something to relate to. Albeit a very one-way sort of relation. I think I'm just getting lonely.

I read somewhere that having a best friend at work increases your job satisfaction. My best friend at work is physically 3,000 miles away, but our daily contact brightens my day at the office all the same - even when it's limited to seeing the green dot and reading the day's status. Other than that, I've basically kept to myself at work. I think I've even stopped trying and started avoiding. I don't even know why.

It's funny that after I moved away, the Bay Area really seems like home to me. I know the back roads, the fast lanes, the slow lanes, and within a 25 mile radius, I can drive around without needing a GPS. I know where to find things. I know none of that here in New Jersey, but of course, it's because I "just" moved here. The thing is, I don't know if I care if I never know where things are here. But this is where I live. And a giant dump of a strip mall or not, this is home for now.

No point to this one (just like the rest)

I was so bumming I lost my Ferragamo boots. Since it gets so cold lately ni, I went and bought myself a new pair. It was so hard to find a decent pair that's not too trendy. Aku ni manalah reti fashion fashion sangat ni. But, wah! Rupanya Stuart Weitzman ni memang sungguh comfy! Nils doesn't like the pointy toes, but I love! Oklah, so maybe now I'm not so bummed out anymore. Whoo hoo!

Did I tell you, last week Nils masak sardine with cili padi for me? Muahaha! So good! And so nice of him to cook for me while I was swamped with work. Especially considering he doesn't eat sardin. Fishing bait, he says. Ada ke patut?? :p But it's ok, more for me!

My very own quiet time

I love my quiet (semi-) morning hours on the weekends. TV is off, Nils still sleeping, I'm the only one up melayan friends living in my laptop - as Sang Mimi calls them. In this time, I only hear the noises in my head, and I can only see what's right in front me (barely), sebab belum put in contact lens lagi. It's so quiet, I can actually hear myself think! Oh, and I've discovered that I think in English.

So many people asked last year, that I actually made an effort to find out. It required some effort, because every time I think of that question, I was thinking in English, but then, is it only because I was trying to answer that question? Was I thinking in Malay, but using English words? So confusing. But after many months of never catching myself thinking in Malay, I've concluded that I think in English. Well, at least most of the time. I suspect when I'm talking to my mom and such, I think in Malay. God knows I don't know the English words to "asam keping," "daun pandan," "air muka," "berkenan," and all that stuff. One mystery solved, now on to the next obsession.

I finally ordered my desk last week. Whoo hoo! Even in the midst of working siang malam, I had the time to go look for that. Maybe I finally got tired of working at the dining table, hunched over my laptop, with papers strewn all over. So this Wednesday, my new desk will be here! Whoo hoo! Last week, Nils took some pictures of his antique furnitures to bring down to the auction house. We might sell a couple of pieces to make room (and money) for a sofa set, bedroom set, bookshelves, and maybe some comfy seatings down by the pool table. Last I heard, Nils was talking about a flat screen for that room. The look on my face when he told me that, must've been "not nice," since I haven't heard of that idea since. Actually it's not such a bad one. If we sell the giant 60-incher downstairs, we'll actually gain some space so that it doesn't feel sardine-cramped down there. We'll see lah. Playing house is tiring some time, but it will be nice when this place doesn't feel like a house for one anymore nanti. (Cue evil laugh)

Well, my quiet time is almost over now. I can hear Nils walk to his computer upstairs. If I turn on the tv now, he'll be down here in a jiffy. Haha. Til next time, people. Have a good weekend! Maybe this weekend I'll make nasi lemak with the daun pandan I found. And next on the list is Swedish Meatballs (hai, laki ku...).

Hi y'all

My life has been consumed by work as of late. Like the lesson I recently learned - it doesn't feel good to work all these extra hours, but it will feel a hell of a lot worse if I don't (I'm reminding myself, here). Besides, being on top of things is sort of addicting. I'm on my way to being my old workaholic self... (Yeay!)

I'm so psyched about seeing the girlz this Friday! We'll bitch and party and be merry. Just like old times. Speaking of old.. I remember the days when I was in high school, and 24 - 26-yr old teachers seemed so adult. Seemed like they had all the answers, or at least weren't confused all the time. But they must have been. Everyone I knew at that age was confused and unsure about one thing or another. Now I'm even older than our cool English teachers were. Good God I'm freaking old!

Aging is a funny business. If it were really a business, I'd be convinced there is some swindling going on somewhere. First you don't even realize you're living a life. You don't realize that your parents have their own lives. Or that your teachers have their own lives. That maybe they didn't feel like going to work or cooking or doing wash that day. It's like how people say babies can only comprehend what's in front of them - and when you're out of sight, it's as if you don't exist. It's kind of like that. So we're basically babies until we're 30. And then we're just freaking old (except to people older than 30 who think we're still babies). Our metabolism hits a brick wall. And fast food is once again a treat that I can only afford once a month, lest I would really get supersized. *Sigh*

Today I told a dear little kid that 23 - 27 was about the worst time of my life. It wasn't so much that I hated every minute of those years. But becoming an adult really was a pain in the ass. It was difficult to walk in big shoes with my, then, small feet. I tripped over myself and fell down a lot. And then my feet grew. And now I just have big feet. Oh, and I'm old.

Actually I love being in my 30s. It really is shaping up to be the best years of my life. I'm not broke all the time - only sometimes. I'm not confused all the time, because now many doors have closed on me. But I really am proud that I have no regrets. And sometimes I take stock of my life and feel proud, and then I message Iddy and she has to listen to me talk about myself again. Hehee...

I am, however, terrified of growing old. So I want to try and do everything I want to do while I still can. Before I institute permanent changes that would end my life as I know it. Because after that, it will be a new chapter, and I'll start to trip all over myself again. So for now, I'm going to just rest and enjoy being on my feet.

I understand now

Working on a weekend sucks big time (a long holiday weekend, no less). I only do it because I now know that it will feel much worse next week if I didn't. Hurray for me, for finally learning this lesson...

On my own

Monday is almost over. But soon Tuesday will be here. It's almost time for bed, and then it'll be time to go to work again. I don't want to go to bed!

Nils is away this week, so I'm on my own. Took out the trash and what not, and after this I'm gonna tidy the bedroom a little. We have stuff from our honeymoon trip still strewn around the bedroom. It's driving me crazy. Two weeks ago we were going to the city and I couldn't find my boots. In fact, I still don't know where they are. Sedihnya!

Thanksgiving weekend was nice and quiet. Dad had his radio competition, so we spent most of the weekend with mom. We didn't do much, just hung out around the house. Mom adopted a family for Xmas, and Nils and I are going to buy toys for the two kids. It'll be fun! I can't believe the mother didn't have a single winter coat and had been waiting for the bus out in the cold. It's amazing what some people go through to make a little bit of money for their families. So on Sunday mom dropped off a heavy jacket for the lady because she didn't want her to wait for Xmas. It's getting cold these days, she's gonna need that coat! I hope she'll be warm now when she waits for the bus. And with all this talk about recession, I feel really lucky that Nils and I are somewhat insulated from the worst. Alhamdulillah. All the same, we're sticking to our budget and saving all we can. At least it's just the two of us and we don't have any other mouths to feed.

Ok, I'm off to clean the bedroom. Laters!

Thanksgiving weekend

I've been fighting this cold for a few days now. Good thing it's a short week. It's so hard to concentrate at work with stuffed up nose and sore throat. Nils and I are driving down to Virginia tonight. He wanted to leave right after lunch, but I was too sick and lazy to pack last night, so we'll leave after dinner. Nils has to make lobster salad tomorrow, and I haven't even asked him anything about it yet. I wonder if he has all the stuff he needs.

(The end. Cerita orang malas memang kadang-kadang takde ending nya...)

I tried to do handstands for you...

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Every time I fell on you
Every time I fell for you
For you....

:)

Productive day

Working from home totally rocks! I got a lot done today.

Ok. So I have a new camera (new toy, yeay!) but I don't know what pictures to take. Especially since I'm stuck indoors all the time on weekdays. I still remember playing with my late dad's camera when I was a kid. Manual focusing was tricky. "Twist it until both sides are clear and the two sides connect smoothly." Maybe photography is a hobby people grow into and out of. Like playing a guitar. Obviously, I'm hedging against the likelihood that I will fall out of love with photography. My interests are rarely long-lived. I think I've said that before. I'm curious myself to see how long this one will last.

It's my TV night tonight. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my TV nights. On Tuesday I watch House, on Thursday I watch Ugly Betty and sometimes Grey's Anatomy. People keep telling me Grey's Anatomy now is so boring. Well, I haven't been watching the show regularly, and I didn't watch it back when it wasn't boring. But I like last week's episode. The girls sitting on a couch in derm being envious and bitching about what they have, reminds me of the good old days at my other job. On not-so-happy work days, I could go to my girls and share my misery. To just about everyone I am always professional, but with the girls, I am me. I miss them. Maybe that's why I dread the office every day. Because there is no place for me to be me except when I'm alone in my cube.

Life is funny like that. For the most part I cannot remember what I did in recent years. But small, silly things I can remember and make me smile (or make me wanna cry). So does that mean then that it is destined that a big chunk of my life will be wasted? How do I maximize the non-blur part of life? Already now I'm hating 5 out of 7 days in a week... And when there's no little nuggets of memories in the five days that makes me feel, it really feels like time is being wasted.

This and that and this and that

I am back home now. Back to being reminded of what it feels like to be inadequate. It's enough to make me want to stay in bed, but every morning I crawl out all the same. I wonder whether it's really that much fun to be retired. It must be. It better be.

This morning I added to my iGoogle page the weather for Calgary, AB. Boy will be there for the next few months, and I thought it would be nice to know what kind of weather he's getting. After all, in a few weeks he will be the only person who will have worse weather than I do. I might need such taunting opportunity to lift my spirits. Many times today I caught myself hoping that it would get warmer there (webpage showed a high of 44F). I don't know why. It's not like he wouldn't know to put on layers and jacket. Maybe in my mind he's still my little brother. Takut beku pulak budak ni karang...

Ok, so a little personal discovery I stumbled upon in the last few weeks. You know how people ask "What makes you tick?" For a long time, I don't have an answer to this question. But now I do. Obsession. I think this even Nils would vouch for. I've heard people say life is a series of random occurrences. But for me, it's a series of mini-obsessions. I go happily from one obsession to another, regardless of whether it benefits me or someone else. So when I'm scouring the internet to get info for someone, it's not so much because I'm trying to help them. It's only because I'm feeding my obsession. It really does make me happy. Some of my happiest moments are when I'm obsessing on something, be it work, pictures, budget, flight tickets, or whatever. Hai bertapa lah screwed up nya pala otak ku. :p Whatever floats your boat, right? I wonder if the next time I go for a job interview, is this something I can share with the interviewer? Will it sound too psychotic?

In Dubai @ Burj Al Arab

Model of the hotel

Lobby

Fountains in the lobby

For honeymooners

Bathroom pun nak amik gambar
(wif Hermes sets yang bakal di kebas)

Breakfast

When we were in Madrid...

Just about jumped off the bus when I saw the store....

A few minutes later....

Sukses..... :)

Sighting

Oh, agaknya inilah kasut Onitsuka harimau yang Sang Iddy sangat minat tu... Baru hari ni dapat aku menengok nya...

Mad Men

Sometimes random lines in TV shows or movies strike a chord with me, and point out things that are so close to my face, I couldn't see them. Today I was watching Mad Men (TiVo) and I was disoriented, as usual (I don't know whether it's the 60s clothing, lifestyle, or the tangled storyline), when out of nowhere this lady went "It's America. Pick a job, and then become the person that does it."

Eh, was she talking to me? Did somebody tell her what I've been whining about lately? Don't get me wrong, I like my new job and company. It's being confused and lost all the time that I'm having a hard time getting used to. I'm slow and unproductive at work since I'm training on new things, software, processes, etc. I wish this training period would end soon.

Too many things are whirling and swirling around me, I just need more time to get used to things. New job, new place, new life, new people. My feet are not touching the ground. I wake up on Mondays and crawl through the week to celebrate my weekends. But I'm too old to live one week at a time. Because that means I'll only have 52 units of "living" a year, and I don't have that many years left to spend with everyone I love. So 52 units/year is not an acceptable number.

That same lady in the show later said "You have to start living the life of the person you want to be."

I think I'll try to take her advice.

Saturday breakfast

This is our new weekend breakfast menu - Prata burrito. Prata segera, scrambled eggs with onions, and Lingham. Just fold and eat. Yummmm....


Prata burrito