Weekend

I managed to get through my Saturday doing every single thing that was on my plan. Including the exercising. I'm so proud of myself. Now to keep those calories down. No more buying snacks. Or those delicious vanilla ice cream hand-dipped in chocolate sauce and almond bits.

Today I was cleaning up my inbox and got rid of a bunch of old emails. Tucked some away into folders, just in case I want to look at those ones again, although in reality, I've never really gone through my folders except to look for addresses, phone numbers, and bank account numbers. While I was cleaning, I came across my mom's sms telling me my atuk passed away. It has been almost two years, and the sms is still in my inbox. And today, after my cleaning, it is still there. For some reason, I couldn't file it away. Not yet, anyway. Maybe some part of me wants it there just in case I forget. Forget what? I don't know. It still makes me smile, the last joke he cracked when I was sitting by his side. I had left his bedside to rake the leaves on the front lawn, when suddenly there was thunder and rain started pouring. So I ran in, dried myself, and went back to sit with atuk. He was awake, so I started talking to him. "Hujan lebat, tok." To which he weakly replied, "Ha, iyelah. Abis tu nak di apa kan..." And then he smiled. Betul jugak, what was I thinking? Couldn't find anything better to talk to him about? Never underestimate the clarity of mind of a 90-year-old. Even when he's bed-ridden.

So this weekend is almost over. I finished two books, to Nils's dismay - I ignored him all weekend and buried my nose in my books. I even cleaned the kitchen, did the wash, paid my bills, and ran some errands. I saw Milo 3-in-1 at the store and thought of Idlan. No Nescafe 3-in-1 though, dude, or else I'd mail you some :) Nils is now asleep on the couch next to me, and left his prison documentary on. It was a shark documentary earlier. I asked him if this is what "normal American" do, sit home all day and watch tv. I think I was just homesick. I thought of what I'd be doing if I were back home this very minute. I doubt it would be sitting in front of the tv. I picture that there'll be more people around, certainly my brothers, maybe some relatives too? But I really don't know, because the only times I've been home in the last ten years are during vacations. Things are different when you're on vacation. People are nice to you. Everyone's nice to you when you just come home to visit. I wonder how it'd be if I really live there. Well, at least the weather here is pretty nice these days. Looks like spring is here. A little late, but here nonetheless.