My chart

See this chart on the left? This is what I call Koke's breakup emotion chart. Yes, when you're a nerd, even your misery can be graphed. The area above the x-axis represent positive outlook, and the area below it represent horrid, negative, pessimistic ones. There are significant swings between the two areas. One minute it feels like it's all happening for the better and I'll be better off, and another minute it feels like my life is on it's way down the toilet and I go through a myopic period where I can't see past the next five minutes (and it's not just because of the tears).

As you can see, the whole episode starts with small bumps, which is generally when things start to rock, and not in a good way. The chart is a little misleading here, mostly due to my inability to control the mouse to draw nice small curves. But this period can last anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 year, depending on your level of denial and strength to do "the right thing". Then comes the real thing. This is when things go into full swing, so to speak. The curve dips further down, and this period is usually accompanied by lots and lots of tears coming and going. The coming usually longer than the going, but this too will change with time.

As time goes by, the swing becomes smaller and shorter, and the tears will dry up. By this time, I'd be able to look back and think of the good times we had together, but I usually don't. My motto is to make the best of things, and never look back. Eventually, I'll get to a point where things stop hurting, and I don't care anymore. Then, and only then, I can get back in touch with the other person without the aura of ill-feelings. I suppose you can say that at this point I've forgiven and forgotten. I can say hi here and there. But based on past experiences, my path are usually far from the other person's that this doesn't happen. I don't go out of my way to say hi. At least not to these people. (Oh, the bitterness) How I wish I could fast forward to this time. Penatlah jadi ratu air mata ni...