Today in My Little World: October 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Productive day

Working from home totally rocks! I got a lot done today.

Ok. So I have a new camera (new toy, yeay!) but I don't know what pictures to take. Especially since I'm stuck indoors all the time on weekdays. I still remember playing with my late dad's camera when I was a kid. Manual focusing was tricky. "Twist it until both sides are clear and the two sides connect smoothly." Maybe photography is a hobby people grow into and out of. Like playing a guitar. Obviously, I'm hedging against the likelihood that I will fall out of love with photography. My interests are rarely long-lived. I think I've said that before. I'm curious myself to see how long this one will last.

It's my TV night tonight. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my TV nights. On Tuesday I watch House, on Thursday I watch Ugly Betty and sometimes Grey's Anatomy. People keep telling me Grey's Anatomy now is so boring. Well, I haven't been watching the show regularly, and I didn't watch it back when it wasn't boring. But I like last week's episode. The girls sitting on a couch in derm being envious and bitching about what they have, reminds me of the good old days at my other job. On not-so-happy work days, I could go to my girls and share my misery. To just about everyone I am always professional, but with the girls, I am me. I miss them. Maybe that's why I dread the office every day. Because there is no place for me to be me except when I'm alone in my cube.

Life is funny like that. For the most part I cannot remember what I did in recent years. But small, silly things I can remember and make me smile (or make me wanna cry). So does that mean then that it is destined that a big chunk of my life will be wasted? How do I maximize the non-blur part of life? Already now I'm hating 5 out of 7 days in a week... And when there's no little nuggets of memories in the five days that makes me feel, it really feels like time is being wasted.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

This and that and this and that

I am back home now. Back to being reminded of what it feels like to be inadequate. It's enough to make me want to stay in bed, but every morning I crawl out all the same. I wonder whether it's really that much fun to be retired. It must be. It better be.

This morning I added to my iGoogle page the weather for Calgary, AB. Boy will be there for the next few months, and I thought it would be nice to know what kind of weather he's getting. After all, in a few weeks he will be the only person who will have worse weather than I do. I might need such taunting opportunity to lift my spirits. Many times today I caught myself hoping that it would get warmer there (webpage showed a high of 44F). I don't know why. It's not like he wouldn't know to put on layers and jacket. Maybe in my mind he's still my little brother. Takut beku pulak budak ni karang...

Ok, so a little personal discovery I stumbled upon in the last few weeks. You know how people ask "What makes you tick?" For a long time, I don't have an answer to this question. But now I do. Obsession. I think this even Nils would vouch for. I've heard people say life is a series of random occurrences. But for me, it's a series of mini-obsessions. I go happily from one obsession to another, regardless of whether it benefits me or someone else. So when I'm scouring the internet to get info for someone, it's not so much because I'm trying to help them. It's only because I'm feeding my obsession. It really does make me happy. Some of my happiest moments are when I'm obsessing on something, be it work, pictures, budget, flight tickets, or whatever. Hai bertapa lah screwed up nya pala otak ku. :p Whatever floats your boat, right? I wonder if the next time I go for a job interview, is this something I can share with the interviewer? Will it sound too psychotic?